Chlo Grace Moretz Calls The Cops On A Young Suitor Bearing Sweets!

According to TMZ, the Kick-Ass actress totally ignored the young man as he knocked on her door. It’s said the unwanted admirer looked to be about 18-years-old and asked one of Chlo’s neighbors which house was hers. Thankfully, the neighbor didn’t give away any info and instead he chose to grill the youth.

After taking the hint that the blonde stunner wanted NOTHING to do with him, the teen made his escape on his skateboard before the cops arrived. Apparently, the LAPD’s threat management team is now on this case.

We’re not sure what happened to the baked goods, but hopefully Chlo didn’t consume them…

[Image via Instagram.]

Read more: http://perezhilton.com/2017-03-29-chloe-grace-moretz-calls-the-cops-on-young-suitor-bearing-cookies

Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Bunnies Are The Gifts That Keeps On Giving!

Holy SHIT Kate Upton makes one sexy Easter bunny!

The Sports Illustrated stunner donned ears and a fluffy tail for 2013’s LOVE mag Easter commercial — and it really IS more delicious than the various candy filling your baskets today!

Check out other celebs dressed in ears looking sexy AF (below)!

CLICK HERE to view “Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Playboy Bunnies!”

CLICK HERE to view “Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Playboy Bunnies!”

CLICK HERE to view “Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Playboy Bunnies!”

CLICK HERE to view “Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Playboy Bunnies!”

CLICK HERE to view “Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Playboy Bunnies!”

Read more: http://perezhilton.com/2017-04-16-happy-easter-sexy-celebrity-bunny-kate-upton-gallery

12 Hilarious Failures At Sex Pill Package Design

Selling sexual enhancement pills sounds like the easiest job in the world. You take an explosive adjective, throw it on a box covered in naked people, and BAM! It’s time to start deciding how to spend your profits.

Except it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes, when you’re focusing all your energy on putting out a dubious “sexual enhancement” product, you can’t be bothered to design packaging that makes any kind of sense and/or doesn’t look like the pictorial equivalent of a ransom note.

#12. Stree Overlord Will Let You Bone Like A Street Fighter Character

We haven’t played Street Fighter in a long time, but we’re pretty sure no button combination in existence will produce this result:

Now you know why Blanka is smiling on the Super Nintendo cover.

Despite being a brand of penile supplements, Stree Overlord has the name and the mastery of English of a shitty Street Fighter II bootleg, and it will improve your sex life exactly as much. The box art, meanwhile, is pure “DeviantArt with the NSFW filters off” (in fact, we wouldn’t be surprised if they lifted it from there). Oh, and that’s a leg in the foreground, by the way; using Stree Overlord has not (yet) been proven to cause gigantic penises to erupt from the ground like the monsters from Tremors.

But don’t worry. They came up with a fake history for their dick-swelling pills which reads like an entry from a middle school boy’s wish fulfillment journal:

This unregulated penis supplement has more plot than Street Fighter V.

The official site, meanwhile, only mentions that Stree Overlord was developed by the prestigious “Shenglong Medecine Biology Research Center” (fittingly, Sheng Long means “Rising Dragon Punch”). At least we can all agree that this is a more respectful adaptation than the Jean-Claude Van Damme movie.

#11. iScream Is Hauntingly Obsessed With Making Women Scream

Ladies! Do you hate making normal sex noises? Do you want your neighbors to think that you’re being murdered on a roller coaster? Do you want orgasms so potent that you’ll forget how to spell “orgasms?” If so, good news: iScreams are the pills for you!

Although judging by the photos, this could easily be a powerful laxative.

iScream is what happens when Big Pharma has a graphics budget of $0.50 because they hired Eli Roth to write the ad copy. “It’s time to scream … in bed …” sounds like the chilling promise of a serial killer. It doesn’t get any better when you visit their Amazon listing and discover that it consists of little more than stock photos of screaming women, which only seems to confirm their “violent felon” demographic.

“Hey, this looks like my Pinterest board!” — a person you should avoid

#10. Big PENIS Cuts Straight To The Point

Sup, bro? How’s it hanging? If you said “not sufficiently,” then we’ve got a solution for you! All you have to do is choke down a big penis.

Pro tip: If saliva isn’t doing the trick, try washing it down with jelly.

It’s a crazy, messed-up world when the most honest advertising we’ve seen in decades comes from the world of shifty pill vendors. There’s no misunderstanding of what you get from using Big PENIS. There’s no delightful wordplay involving euphemisms like “Solid Oak,” or “Iron Rod,” or “Dense Pencil.” You’re getting a Big PENIS. And not just any Big PENIS. No, Big PENIS comes in an austere metallic box that looks like the slipcase for a Terminator 2 DVD, complete with the flag of the United States. Because thanks to Big PENIS, your junk can now be used as a flagpole, apparently.

Make Big Penis Great Again.

#9. French Ladies Will Flood Your Vagina With “Exiting Water”

The name “French Ladies” brings to mind elegance, class, and sophistication. The packaging does absolutely none of those things, and indeed, only seems interested in reminding women that vaginas exist. You know, in case they forgot.

This is what Jack from Titanic‘s finished drawing would have looked like if he hadn’t died.

However, this product does promise users something called “super constrict vagina,” which is a phrase that demands further investigation. The words “exiting water” only compound the mystery, seemingly suggesting that this is medication for a urinary tract infection. Let’s see how the description checks out:

Uh, so this pill makes you spray “vagina juice” like a fire hose for 20 minutes? There’s an off switch though, right? Let’s keep reading.

Because loud, semiconscious moaning is never a sign of excruciating pain or impending death.

OK, so is this a date rape drug? Because it sure sounds like a date rape drug.

#8. We Really, Really Hope Big Brother Is An Orwell Reference

To its credit, Big Brother doesn’t promise to turn your junk into a monster or transform your sperm into chocolate milk. They’re simply good ol’ fashioned dick extenders.

“Fun for the whole family!”

It’s just … the name, guys. It raises more questions than these pills ever will penises. Why would you ever call your sex drug “Big Brother”? Did the final name come down to a choice between that and “My Sister Is DTF”? If so, why?

Or perhaps we’re misreading this. It’s not incest; it’s a commentary on the surveillance state and how Big Government (a much better name, to be honest) is destroying our privacy. That would explain why there’s a surveillance camera in the top-left corner of the box.

“Slower …”

#7. Daniel Craig And Barack Obama Are Secret Agents Of Male Enhancement

Seeing as how Daniel Craig has reportedly retired from being James Bond, this’d be a great time for him to capitalize on his smoldering looks and get into the penis pill business. Unless, as God Of War suggests, he already did that years ago.

Not that this wouldn’t be in character for Bond.

We can’t blame him. It’s a good career move. After all, what other celebrity has the raw sexual magnetism to spearhead their own line of male enhancements?

“Obama. Aobama.”

That’s fucking right: Barack Obama. These pills were recovered during a drug raid in Pakistan, making this the first time he’s ever deployed a deadly weapon on a civilian population that wasn’t fired from a drone. They could probably do with a rebranding, however. We’d suggest Cum-ander In Chief, and maybe getting some better pictures instead of plagiarizing artwork from a Spider-Man comic.

We mean, there are multiple pornographic Obama manga to choose from.

And while we’re on the subject of superheroes …

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_23934_12-insane-attempts-at-marketing-sex-pills-to-internet.html

Chlo Grace Moretz Calls The Cops On A Young Suitor Bearing Sweets!

According to TMZ, the Kick-Ass actress totally ignored the young man as he knocked on her door. It’s said the unwanted admirer looked to be about 18-years-old and asked one of Chlo’s neighbors which house was hers. Thankfully, the neighbor didn’t give away any info and instead he chose to grill the youth.

After taking the hint that the blonde stunner wanted NOTHING to do with him, the teen made his escape on his skateboard before the cops arrived. Apparently, the LAPD’s threat management team is now on this case.

We’re not sure what happened to the baked goods, but hopefully Chlo didn’t consume them…

[Image via Instagram.]

Read more: http://perezhilton.com/2017-03-29-chloe-grace-moretz-calls-the-cops-on-young-suitor-bearing-cookies

Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Bunnies Are The Gifts That Keeps On Giving!

Holy SHIT Kate Upton makes one sexy Easter bunny!

The Sports Illustrated stunner donned ears and a fluffy tail for 2013’s LOVE mag Easter commercial — and it really IS more delicious than the various candy filling your baskets today!

Check out other celebs dressed in ears looking sexy AF (below)!

CLICK HERE to view “Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Playboy Bunnies!”

CLICK HERE to view “Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Playboy Bunnies!”

CLICK HERE to view “Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Playboy Bunnies!”

CLICK HERE to view “Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Playboy Bunnies!”

CLICK HERE to view “Happy SeXXXy Easter! Celebs Who’ve Dressed Up As Playboy Bunnies!”

Read more: http://perezhilton.com/2017-04-16-happy-easter-sexy-celebrity-bunny-kate-upton-gallery

Top 10 Male Enhancement Pills In The Market 2016


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First Rock-Hard Erection Since 2010…

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Top 10 Male Enhancement Pills In The Market 2016

#1 – ZYTENZ

After 7 years of rigorous research and testing, the proprietary formulation behind Zytenz was created. The powerful Zytenz provides a pain-free, safe and affordable way to boost testosterone and your libido. It will also intensify the your pleasure and your performance and boost your stamina, giving you the best and most intense sex life you have ever had. Don't ever suffer from low stamina nor be embarrassed by your lack of performance ever again

#2 – VYDEXAFIL
Vydexafil is a powerful male enhancement supplement that will help to restore your sexual ability and performance back to what it was in your early 20's! This product works through powerful natural ingredients to improve your abilities in bed, leaving both you and your partner more satisfied than ever

#3 – MALE ENHANCEMENT TOP SELLERS KIT
Finding the right male enhancement pill can be difficult for a number of reasons. That's why the best sellers kit was created. Save big bucks on buying this powerhouse bundle. Now you can try our top rated male enhancement pills and find out for yourself which one works best for you. Each product in this amazing bundle has an amazing ability to completely enhance your sex life and boost your testosterone to new levels, giving you a stronger body and more opportunities.

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#5 – AI SPORTS NUTRITION PERFORM
Anabolic Innovations Perform is a force to be reckoned with! Loaded with maca, fenugreek seed extract, tribulus terrestris and more, this baby has fantastic results written all over it. Perform has ingredients that will aid you in any kind of erectile dysfunction and boost your hormone levels and increases blood flow. You can't go wrong with Anabolic Innovations Perform!

#6 – OXYERECT PRO
OxyErect Pro will help you to perform at the best that you've ever done! You'll get the erections that you want as your sex drive shoots up through the roof! There are no unknown ingredients within this product due to every single ingredient being natural! Finally be the man you know you are!

#7 – VIRILIS PRO
Virilis Pro When it comes to male enhancement Virilis Pro delivers, this powerful supplement is made to help enhance your size, your performance and your enjoyment beyond levels you've ever experienced. So get the excitement back in your bedroom and amp up your experiences with Virilis Pro!

#8 – NUTREX VITRIX
From a brand that demands respect comes a very solid libido enhancement supplement, Vitrix. Since its release it has become a mainstay on the male enhancement market. Vitrix will amp up sex drive and make your penis dependable and ready for when the right time comes.

#9 – AXCITE MAGNUM
Let Axcite Magnum turn your mediocre sex life into the amazing sexual experiences you deserve. It's proven ingredients allow you to have the libido of your 20's and the erection of a king.

#10 – TWINLAB YOHIMBE FUEL
TwinLab Yohimbe Fuel works through the use of all-natural ingredients that have been shown to improve healthy sexual function, stamina, and energy in addition to improving your libido.

The Best Male Enhancement Pills – Revealed


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First Rock-Hard Erection Since 2010…

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* MALE EXTRA:
* VIGRX PLUS:
Poor erections or lack of sex drive sucks! We have found that a high quality male supplement can help! A supplement that has the right combination of ingredients that is pure and potent can do a lot more than just improve our erections. We recommend two very good male supplements that are proven to be equally good – Male Extra and VigRX Plus. Use the links above to visit the official websites for each and learn more about what they have to offer.

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This Ancient Chinese Secret Gives William His

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